I am Talia.

I would first like to thank everybody for the positive feedback and the comments I have been getting about this. Its means a lot to me! :) I am really doing this for you to read about my progress in my life everyday and like I wrote on the side my goal of this is I have a story and I would love everybody to hear it.

Well I am Talia. Sometimes I feel like whenever you say your introduce yourself to someone,you feel like just from saying your name,but i think there's a big story behind it.I know I'm only 19 and there's no way I could have so much has happened in my life,but the truth is there has been. The reason why I started this,is because I know I have a story and I will continue to have story's for the rest of my life. As a child,I used to be very shy and quiet. I really wish I wasn't,but that's who I was. I feel like the reason why I was very shy and quiet was because I didn't want to voice my opinion or didn't want to feel stupid if I said something. Well as I grew up,I knew I had an opinion.I didn't care if anybody didn't like it or did like it,as long I voiced it.That is exactly why I am doing this. I know I have an opinion and a story that I feel like everybody should hear. I wish I could just sit here and tell you everything that has happened to me.First,I wouldn't want to do that,because I know I haven't had a horrible or I never feel like my life is terrible.I feel like I just have been through very tough bumps through out my life,that I wish I never had to go through.I unfortunately cant be very open for certain reasons,but I will try my best to explain things.

Well I would like to say another reason why I have also started this,is because I went through a horrible break-up. (In my posts,I will never mention a name except mine.) The break-up I went through is a break up I will never forget. I cant explain really why I will never forget it,but Ill just say that we went through something very tough and hard that no teenage couple should ever have to deal with.One day,I hope I can be open about it,but as of now I cant. Well it hurt me so much because of the love I gave to this person. Nobody will ever understand that I did anything for them. I was so in love with them,I decided to leave the most important things in my life,for them. I will never blame this person for anything. I will never hate this person or will never not love this person for the simple fact that this person has changed my life. They have taught me many lessons I couldn't teach myself. They have taught me what love is and how to share love to other people. I know that what me and this person had was something really. It unfortunately couldn't work out,and sometimes I wish it could have because I knew that he was truly an amazing guy. People have always voiced their opinion and have always told me the opposite of what I wanted to hear. Well,those are true friends if you ask me. I was denying the fact that I was so in love that I didn't want them to leave my life.I choose to do anything and everything for the person,even hurt myself emotionally and physically (not anything dangerous,but I will thank them for letting me lose 40 pounds because of them. =] trust me that made me happy when I saw how much I lost) just for them to show them that I loved them. I guess I figured out that it has ended when I showed this person the most love I could,and never got the answer I wanted back. I will be truthfully honest and say I don't want them out of my life. I never thought he was a horrible person or wasn't a great guy. I just think that we weren't meant for each other,and that was it. I will admit,and personally I don't care if people get mad at me or not,but I would love to see the day where we could actually talk to each other with no hurt and just be friends. I will always see them as my best friend,and I would personally hate for us to stop being best friends. If I never get to see this,I will like to let them know,I will always be here for them and I will always love them and I thank you everyday for making me who I am now. Sometimes its very hard for the people that love you hear you say things like this. I know I would hate for anyone I love go through this. I would go and kill them I ever see someone hurt them. I feel like every situation is different. Recently I have been asked (since I guess now im single),what I find I like in a man. To be honest,I usually wanted a man who I felt like I can impress everyone with looks.I have obviously grown up from that phase,and I feel like I cant answer that. I feel like it doesn't matter what I want in a man cause every person is different.There's different quality's in every man and I feel like we if we connect then that's what I want in a man. As I was saying,I feel like the reasons why some people will never understand why I feel the way I do about this is because I know who they truly are. I saw this person with no act and saw who they truly are sitting together in a room and talking and being open. I would like to say that I know I cant see who views my readings,but I just would like to say that If this person ever comes across seeing this, I would like to let them know that what we had was truly amazing,and I will repeat I truly thank you every day for coming in my life.I will always love you for you and I will always be here for you to talk about anything. That will never change. <3

So I would like to say what I have been feeling right now as a Single 19 year old girl. Well first I feel like I have finally been starting to get my life back on track.I finally got a job after 2 years of looking. I'm excited to start the job not only because of the money,but because I know it will help me feel independent. That lately what my goal has been. I really feel that independence is something you have to start when you feel like you are ready to start. My whole life I have always acted older then I was. Just as a little kid,I would love always being with adults and talking to adults. Sometimes I wish I could have lived my life the age I was,but I couldn't help it. I feel like right now is a time I would love to start being independent. Theres obviously some reasons why I feel like I cant be,but hopefully Ill be able to explain that to the people I really need to explain that to,just kinda of nervous is what I guess you can say and I hope with getting this new job it will help me. I have been thinking of lately of going and being out on my own and maybe moving in with one of my best friends. I feel like I'm not trying to do this to grow up super fast or to have freedom and do whatever I want. I feel like the reason why I want to do this is because I know I am ready to go be independent. I was raised by two amazing parents that have proudly been married for 30 years this year. I have two amazing brothers that I love with all my heart,even though we sometimes aren't eye-to-eye on things and sometimes don't get along. I love the family I was raised in. I appreciate it every day. I just feel like sometimes its hard for the people you love see you grow up so fast,that's 100% towards my parents.I feel like that may be the reason why I am nervous to tell them about or maybe a reason why I feel like I have lately wanna just be with them,is because I'm kinda nervous to tell them I wanna go be out on my own. I sometimes wish I was able to go to college somewhere else,and be able to go live in dorm rooms,but I really never got the chance.If there is any kids or anyone who is still in high school reading this,PLEASE PLEASE try you hardest in school. I know sometimes it's very hard or you feel like you have a lot of pressure,but I promise in the long run,you'll be proud of yourself and you'll be able to make your own independent decisions,which I know is what every teenager wants, I mean look at me im still a teenager (which I personally cant wait to turn 20 in November so I don't have to feel like I am a teenager.) but I promise I wish I did better in school and was able to choose from many schools,instead of having to do what I have to do. I know one day ill be able to have the true feeling of living in a dorm room,but for now I guess the only way I can feel that is if i move in with my best friend.I guess theres still a lot of thinking to be done,and I guess I still am nervous about talking to my parents,but I hope in the end they understand that this is for me. I am Talia and I will like to thank everybody for reading this and I hope we will be able to continue this.  . . until next time.

Love always,

Talia Marcel <3