One Step At a Time.

Well I would like to thank you everybody for reading these posts! I feel like all 124 people that have seen my blogs help me want to write everyday! I know im not the best writer or I haven't had a lot of people read my writing but Its a start and its better then nothing and as long as one person reads it I'm happy! :) Ill keep doing this for a while and I hope eventually it will become something inspiring.Its because of this I choose to take a journalism next semester and I'm very excited!


Well I guess lately my mood has been up and down.I will tell you Love sucks and it hurts but sometimes can be the most amazing feeling. Well in my case it sucks. I really just was trying to move on and look for another guy but whenever I just talk to other guys or I even go out with another guy,all I think about is that one person.I know really its going to be an everyday struggle but really its going to have to be one step at a time. The other day out of the random one my ex boyfriends asked me If I was scared of love. I had no idea what to answer to that. I don't think I am ever scared of love. I think love is an amazing thing as I said before. It truly can make you feel like your on cloud nine,but it can also bring out the worst feelings you never want to go through. To be honest,The thing im scared about is falling in love again. Its the truth. I don't think Ill never be able to find another man or find someone new. I just feel like sometimes its scary. Falling in love is something that one thing that can be amazing and can be horrible.I feel like the reason why im scared is because I don't want to go through this again. I'm not a very religious person,I feel like I'm more of a spiritual person. I do believe however that God will bring someone to me and that I guess I feel I would hate to go through it,but really I feel like I don't have a lot of control over it. Lately I have been doing good about not crying about and realizing that there's bigger and better things that is going to happen in the future.The job im about to start couldn't have come at a better time. I really need something to distract me and this job is going to be a crazy job in the beginning. I also really needed the money and hey I just figured for opening an account I get 125 bucks! haha that money will help me in the long run.I wish sometimes money wasn't that big of a deal,but unfortunately it is.Its sometimes sad how you look at money,and how happy it makes you. Well I would love to have money,but I defiantly don't feel like it is has ever made me happy and it has for sure never proved anything to anyone whenever I do give money.  Well I guess you can say I have up and down mood because I just feel like it sucks to get over something you had for such a long time.It hurts more to know that your life will forever be changed because of what has happened. The hardest thing about it sometimes no one will truly ever understand how hard it was.Nobody will get that its not something that I will forget in months or even years. I will never be able to forget it and I never want to forget it.I guess another hard part is that I cant share it. I feel like one day when I am able to share it I would love to be an advocate of helping others go through tough things like that. I wish sometimes I was able to tell the people I truly need to tell the truth. The thing is. . .I wont be able to do for a while,sometimes I'm glad I don't have to.


I guess the next thing I should talk about is why I'm planning on deleting my facebook.I have made the decision of deleting my facebook and decided I was going to be done with by the end of the month (July 31st). Well I have had Facebook for a while and trust me I have loved and hated it at the same time.  I loved Facebook because if it weren't for them I wouldn't be able to talk to my family that lives on the other side of the world. I wouldn't be able to make the friends have made through it or even re-connected with old friends.The reason I guess why I need to delete is the fact that I only go there for one reason only.I could sit here and makes excuses about why I hate it and why I decided to do this for that specific one reason,but the truth is I really feel like Facebook has changed over the past few months. I feel like it has obviously not helped with school. I feel like I sometimes cared so much about being on facebook that I could care less about doing my homework and doing my school work. Well I'm not in high school anymore. I'm in the real world of college and in college you are responsible for everything you do in school and you have no one that babies you around. Well during my first year to be honest,I felt like I didn't take school as seriously as I should have. To be honest,I feel like this year is going to be my freshman year of college. I cared more about what was on Facebook or who liked my status then the real thing that mattered and that was school. In the second semester,I guess I can say I had a little reason on why I had a bad semester,but it wasn't an excuse to bad in school. I just feel like Facebook isn't something I need right now seeing how I really need to focus on school and my job. I feel like those are my main priority's. I feel like Facebook has been going down hill and a matter fact I feel like it has helped me go down hill too. I really don't want to talk about the specifics. I just feel like lately all I have been showing is me being a very negative person and I feel like that's just not something I need to post about to the whole world. I'm not a negative person. I know people look at me like I am with the status's I post but I'm really not. I just felt like in a way I was alone.I will admit it I was depressed. I seriously got depressed over him. I felt like I was alone in my whole situation and nobody could help unless I posted a status. I'm not saying I was trying to get attention. I was just trying to have the feeling that somebody cares about me.Somebody is hearing me.Somebody is saying "Talia I'm here for you lets talk," or "Talia I want to help you." That's what I was trying the last few months whenever I wrote a negative status. I just wanted to see that I mattered. Last week,I saw that I mattered to the people who care about me the most. I just feel like maybe time away from Facebook will help regain myself and just help me become the Talia I was. I'm not saying I want to be the old Talia.I just want to be the refreshed grown up Talia. Another reason which I'm not going to go into details is about is simply I was hoping he would see what I have posted.Thats all I can say about that.In the next couple day's Ill be writing messages to people that I think matter the most and would love to be contact while Im gone or you can make it easier on me and just tell me if you want to keep in touch with me! :) I have a phone,I have an E-mail,and I have this.

I guess the reason why I started this is so I would have a new way of posting my status's but being able to use more then 420 words. I want to use 10000 words to explain whats on my mind. If you feel like in this post all I did was mumble,I'm seriously so sorry. I'm new to this.I'm new to being so open to a lot of people and hoping that people don't think im crazy. I have always loved writing but I never really shared my writing on a blog.Ive tried obviously with that one website called Xanga haha that was crazy I was only 12/13 at the time not knowing what I was talking about.I wish I could see what I wrote,but I'm pretty sure they deleted all the inactive accounts. I never really shared my thoughts or opinions in grown up writing with a grown up thought. If you are a reader who is going to stay committed to reading this,I thank you so much. I would love if I could have more readers reading this. Its my beginning of blogging and trust me I'm happy I made the decision of doing this. By the way,If you would like to share this on your facebook,or would like to help me out to let other people see this,that would be amazing. Now I know my writing isn't about giving advice or anything,like I have told you in every post I have a story. I'm good with giving advice on a one-to-one basis but im really not that good in giving a lot of advice. I feel like I'm good in writing.I don't care what anyone say's because in the end of the day I'm living my life for me,and I believe that I am.

Until next time. . . .

Love Always,
Talia Marcel <3



If you are a reader who is willing to help me share my blog you can either post my link http://taliamarcel.blogspot.com or go to the link below and share it on Twitter and Facebook.